The heart of New York

I met a man tonight by the name of Michael. He walked down the street past me as I was sitting outside. He looked at me and made eye contact and I returned the gesture. His eyes immediataly asked the question "friend or foe"? I felt a sense of apprehension because I could see that he was obviously drunk and I did not want to expose myself to the discomfort of relating to him. I remembered something that I had learned recently that with all insane people, sanity is sometimes achieved by relating with that person and giving them a chance. I knew he was lonely and was looking to have a connection with someone tonight. I suppose I was to. So I opened myself to this person. I could see in his eyes that he had the capability of being very violent, but that he also had a gentle side. He was a defenite New Yorker. Hardened by the streets and disenchanted by all the alcohol and violence that he had obviously experienced in his life. We decided to go get a beer at the pub down the street. Along the way we chit chatted and became more and more comfortable around each other. I think he realized that he did not have to be afraid around me. I said to him after noticing "You walk around with your fists clenched". He said "when you see me open my hands you know there is trouble, when my fist are clenched its ok". "Have you ever had your jaw broken?" he asked in what seemed like a half threatening tone. I said no. Still having fear come up inside me that this man could be violent with me at any time. Then he proceded to show me how his jaw was misshaped. I did not go into the story at all. I asked if he had grown up here. He said "yes, these are my stomping grounds". I asked him, "Where were you when the towers came down" He said I was there. I asked "how do you feel about that?". He said "what can you do? you just start sweeping up". He then pounded on his chest with his fists and said "I was the one who got it done." His eyes said "you are in the presence of a hero" I sincerely enjoyed his company, despite the fact he seemingly had a violent upbringing and plenty of alcohol on top of that. But the more I acknowledged him and talked to him sincerely, the more sane and articulate he became. The easy and predictable thing to do would be to run away from this character. I have done this plenty of times in my life- scared of insanity But instead, I realized that sanity has a lot more to do with how we are treated by others than the circumstances in our life. cheers.

Launching tomorrow, but today New York. the picture-Savannah Georgia baby.

Today I am New York. If there is any place that you need longer than a day to digest, this would be it. I have some sort of appreciation that this is where all the immigrants first came when they decided to venture to new lands, and that I will be launching from here to explore origins in other parts of the world. I walk down the street with my hand held to my chest feeling the warmth of my hand touching my heart. Is this the center of america? the heart of America. It does seem that all things are born here and when internationals come to visit, New York seems to be the default location. To the tourists, the big exciting world of New York is a place where freakish occurences could be enough to think that you were in some enlightened place, better than home. But to the locals, there are no surprises here. We have seen it before. I appreciate it but I am just trying to work and get home to my family. This is a good place to start my trip. I think this city is maybe a model for what foreigners think America is-busling nightlife, disgusting consumerism and grand appreciation for the arts.
I am just starting or have I been on this trip for ages? When did it begin? It all a bit fuzzy. My posture suggests that I am beginning something new, but what really can change from traveling. Sometimes this is an epic Adventure, sometimes it is a war story where I am leaving my loved ones, a crash course in motorcycle mechanics, or a mission to become more enlightened through exposing myself to the nature of the world. This could be dangerous. I ultimately would like to find out what we all have in common and to be surprised that behind the consumerism, politics and law and trajedy we are bound by kindness. That in fact we don't need someone creating a law of kindness, that we choose kindness out of our own basic human nature. I think when we expose ourself to cultures without laws and people are kind anyways, it can shatter the paradigms we have held about the big bad scary world and create a deaper faith in humanity.